I first realised that I needed to be right with God in 2002, it was at a house with some friends, they were talking about what it is to be a Christian and I suddenly understood that I was not a Christian, it was then that I first began to seriously seek the Lord. It took some time before I came to believe that I was saved, but over the last year I have felt a closeness with the Lord that I had not previously felt.
As a young disabled woman I had a lot of anger about my disability, I wondered why the Lord had made me this way, but since I have come to trust in His grace and His goodness I have learned to accept my condition and now seek to glorify God in and despite it. By His grace I recently came to Ebenezer Reformed Baptist Church, and through the preaching of Gods Word I have learned (and am learning more and more) to accept my disability, I have come to understand that no matter what state I am in, His grace is sufficient, and His love, which is shown to me through the Lord Jesus Christ is without bounds.
My devotional life has improved dramatically, at the moment I am studying Psalms 23 and, as you would expect, I am finding a great deal of comfort in that Psalm, especially v4: yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me, Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. It is good to know that wherever I am Jesus is with me, He is my Good Shepherd (providentially, after giving this testimony to Tony the visiting preacher preached on this very psalm).
As far as my salvation is concerned, I am sure that I am trusting the Lord Jesus and nothing else. I want to be Baptised so that I can walk in obedience to His Word, I am less frightened at night, and I feel more of His closeness. From the age of 8 I have wanted to be Baptised, now I am sure that it is both the time and that it is the right thing to do. Every day He teaches me more and more, He is teaching me – Thy will be done – in my own life.
Far from being bitter about my condition, I now understand why I am here, He wanted me to exist, He planned me before time and has always had a plan for my life, one where I would come to love Him, and He has had His hand on my life from the day I was born. He wanted me to exist, and He wanted me to be His own, and by His grace alone this has come to pass. I am still a sinner, but I am a sinner saved by His grace and kept by His love. I am convinced of these things, that they area true work of God in my life, and I want to serve Him as best I can and to the glory of His name.